


Second Chances

by pinesinthewoods



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Amnesia, Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6474118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinesinthewoods/pseuds/pinesinthewoods
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thoughts going through Stanford's head when the family finds Stanley in the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chances

Stanford desperately clung to his brother, as though he were afraid he’d disappear. But the truth was, he already _had_ disappeared, hadn’t he? Stan was gone. Stan was _gone_. The thought rose unbidden in Stanford’s mind, threatening to completely consume him, a terrible mantra that he couldn’t shake. _And it’s all my fault_. His breath hitched, silent tears spilled down his face, and he clutched Stanley tighter to himself. He barely registered that he was rocking slightly, as though trying to soothe his brother like a child. This wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all. It shouldn’t have been like this, he and Stanley should’ve been… they should have…  

Stanley was supposed to be reciprocating the hug, maybe give him a gruff laugh, or playful nudge. Everything within Stanford wanted nothing more than to turn back time and return to the moment when he stepped out of the portal. When Stanley had his arms spread wide, with a tearful smile of unfettered _joy_. Yet, Stanford had shut him down, shut him out. Oh, what he wouldn’t give right now to go back to that moment. He would have returned the embrace full-force, he would have tossed the past aside and started over… he would have… h-he would have…

Stanley remained as still and silent as when Stanford had first found him in the deceptively peaceful clearing. Stanford wasn’t sure how long he remained with his brother like this, embracing him as though the ground would swallow him up. But finally, Stanford’s fraught thoughts settled enough for him to realize that Dipper and Mabel were still there. _God, the kids_ , Stanford mourned, _I’ve done this to them too_ , _I’ve taken Stan away from them…_

Stanford finally pulled away from his brother, wiping the tears and snot from his face with his sleeve. He realized he had created a wet patch on Stanley’s shoulder, on his own trench coat. His brother didn’t even seem to notice this, he blinked up at him with the same blank and slightly confused expression as before. Gathering his courage, Stanford turned towards his great niece and nephew. He was only a little startled to see that Soos was there now, he had somehow arrived without Stanford noticing. Judging by the tears in his eyes,  Stanford guessed Dipper had the unfortunate task of filling Soos in. Mabel had stopped crying, but her face was red and puffy. Her expression was so sad and broken, it seemed out of place on someone like Mabel, a curtain drawn over sunshine. Stanford couldn’t help but feel overwhelming guilt and sorrow pool in his chest like sludge.

“What… what do we do now,” Dipper asked, his voice lost and trembling and so, so young. He looked at Stanford imploringly, pleading with him to _fix_ this, _please_ , he was the _Author_ , he could do anything… he could save their Grunkle, right? And it broke Stanford’s heart all over again. He wanted to gather the boy up in his arms, tell him everything would be okay, assure him that, yes, he would make Stan better. But… god, twelve stupid, _worthless_ PHDs and he didn’t even know how to save his own twin. He didn’t know a thing that truly mattered when it came down to it. Not a goddamn thing.

“There’s… nothing we can do. I..I’m sorry,” he murmured, trying to convey how much he truly _was_ sorry. Sorry for hurting his family. Sorry for everything.

Mabel who had been softly hiccupping next to her brother, shook her head fiercely, a spark of determination lighting within her again. “No. No way. If there’s one thing we learned this Summer, it’s that you can do anything with help from your family… I know we can think of something!”  
Stanford felt his chest constrict and he closed his eyes briefly. No, he couldn’t give these children a false hope. It would just be too painful in the long run, when they truly realize that Stanley wouldn’t return to normal. “It’s not that easy, my dear,” Stanford cut in as gently as he could. “We’ll be there for him, but he won’t be the same Stan you remember.”

“Wait… so if I’m Stanley, then did something happen to me?” Stan asked in an almost courteous tone. They all flinched at how so… _unlike_ Stanley he sounded. “Is that why you’re all so sad?” Stanley tilted his head at them, waiting for a reply, making him seem like a curious puppy. They all stood, at a loss of what to say, until Ford spoke very quietly.

“Yes… something happened to you, Stanley. But don’t concern yourself with it right now.”

“If you say so,” Stanley responded, looking perfectly content remain sitting, and let them sort whatever problem was going on amongst themselves.

Soos spoke up in a wavering voice. “Um…maybe… maybe if he was back in his old suit. You know, he really liked dressing up in that… dress to impress to get that cash, he always said. It could help jog his memory? At least he’ll be more comfortable back in his own clothes…” Soos looked at the ground.

Mabel gasped and scurried up to Stanford, clutching at Stanley’s suit. “Yeah, Grunkle Ford, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” she persisted, as Dipper nodded energetically over her shoulder.

“Sweetheart…” he sighed, running a hand over his face, inconspicuously wiping his residual tears away. “Don’t get your hopes up about that, okay? But Soos is right, he’ll probably be more comfortable back in his own clothes. It doesn’t feel right that I’m wearing his suit right now.”

“Then we should head back to the Shack. There might be something there that could help,” Dipper asserted stubbornly, a similar light of resolve on his face as his sister. Stanford could only manage a sad smile, unable to bring himself to squelch that small amount of hope in their eyes. Even if he was efficient at doing that to himself, he couldn’t do that to the two children he loved. Yet watching the kids hearts get broken again would be too much for him to bear. Stanford knew that a mind-wipe of this magnitude would take nothing short of a miracle for Stanley to recovery any memories… it was better to accept that bitter truth now than to give himself a sense of false hope, and then let his world crumble to dust again. It felt as though he were dragging himself through mud when he turned to his brother.

“Okay. Stanley, we’re going to switch our clothes back. This suit belongs to you.” Stanford helped his brother to his feet, steadying him as he swayed.  
  
“It does?” Stanley squinted at it. “Wow, that’s one sharp lookin’ suit. Don’t mind if I do.”

Stanford began to unbutton the suit, then a jarring thought occurred to him. He glanced at Soos and the kids, and swallowed. “Soos, can you, um….” Stanford gestured vaguely to Dipper and Mabel. Soos seemed to understand immediately. “Gotcha, Dr-Mr. Pines. Come on, dudes, let’s give the old guys some privacy.”

“But.. but.. I don’t want to leave-”  
  
“Aw, don’t worry Mabel. They just need to do a little switcheroo, and you’ll see them again in a minute! I don’t think they want an audience watching.”  
  
“I guess,” Mabel sighed. “I’m just worried they’ll break a hip or something.”  
  
“While they’re changing? I don’t think that’s likely unless they’re like ninety…they’re not ninety, right?” Their voices faded slightly, muffled by foliage, as they moved behind some sun-dappled trees to give Stanley and Stanford privacy.

Stanford was suddenly very grateful Soos was there. He wasn’t sure Dipper and Mabel would have left him and Stanley otherwise.

He wanted to tell himself that he told them to leave out of concern for Stanley’s dignity, but Stanley walked around in his underwear on a daily basis. No, if Stanford was truthful to himself, he didn’t want the children to see _him_. He didn’t want them to see the old scars littering his body, or the fresh burns and red chaffing on his wrists and ankles. He didn’t want to upset them more than he already had.

Stanford sighed, and tried to concentrate on the task at hand, loosening the tie, and wincing as he shrugged off the white dress shirt. He stared at the shirt for a moment, it was covered in dirt and blood. _How fitting_ he thought glumly. _I ruined his shirt. I ruined Stanley…_

His brother was in the process of pulling the turtle neck over his head, and nearly fell down in the process. Finally, he untangled himself and then looked at the sweater in his hand in confusion, as if he wasn’t sure what he was doing moments before.

“Here,” Stanford said softly, handing Stanley’s clothing back over to his brother. Stanley reached out for the clothes, then paused, his eyes flickering over to Stanford’s scars. His brow furrowed slightly, but his brown eyes were blank, unreadable.

“Here,” Stanford repeated, a little more insistently, wondering what could have been going through his brother’s head right then. _Probably that this half-naked stranger in front of him was in some sort of terrible tragic accident_ , Stanford thought miserably. But Stanley didn’t say anything. Not a word. His expression was still slightly pinched, as though he wanted to speak something on the tip of his tongue, but couldn’t. Stanley looked back up at Ford, searching his face, as though he were trying to decode a cipher.

Stanford’s heart rate suddenly sped up, and he found himself hardly daring to breathe. Against his better judgment, he tried to find a spark of recognition in his brother’s eyes, _anything_. Stanford gazed back at his brother with the intensity of a drowning man searching for a life raft.  

Stanley abruptly turned away from his brother, and his attention was back on dressing himself. The dim ember of hope was extinguished immediately, nearly pitching Stanford to the ground in despair. He was such a fool to be caught up in his emotions like that. _You’re just setting yourself up for more heartbreak_ , he scolded himself bitterly. _You can’t get caught up in the kid’s excitement like that. He’s gone._ Stanford quickly wiped the unwanted moisture from his eyes, then pulled his familiar sweatshirt over his head.  

Stanley wasn’t having such an easy time of it. His large fingers fumbled with the buttons on the shirt, and his face twisted into frustration as he continued to miss them. Stanford watched for only a few moments, before it became too much. Stanley wore this outfit every day, and now he could barely button up the shirt. When he went to help his brother, Stanley didn’t even protest as his old self would have. His arms fell to his sides, and he blinked docilely at his surroundings, humming softly to himself. Maybe it was a good thing Dipper and Mabel weren’t here after all. Stanley wouldn’t have minded walking around in his underwear, but he never would have wanted them to see him needing help getting dressed like a little kid.

Finally, Stanford finished buttoning up the grimy white dress shirt, but then he stopped and looked at the red ribbon in his hand. Before they had confronted Bill, Stanley had tied it for Stanford, muttering ‘you’re a genius and ya can’t even tie a proper bowtie.’ Even though the words had been light, there was weight to the gesture, emotions that they both wished they could say, regret, affection, and firm finality. It was as though they were both soldiers, suiting up for a suicide mission. And in Stanley’s case, in a way he was.

So much was left unsaid, so much was lost, and Stanford would have to live with the ghosts of it for the rest of his life. There were no more chances.

Stanford draped the red fabric around Stanley’s shoulders, not bothering to attempt to tie it.

“You can come out now,” Stanford called, his voice rougher than he would have liked.

The children and Soos reappeared from behind the trees. Mabel immediately gravitated to Stanley, taking his large calloused hand in her small one, and offered him a small but bright smile, a tiny beacon in the dark. Stanley returned her smile with his own tentative one, but it was open and unguarded.  
  
Dipper quickly wiped at his eyes, in way Stanford painfully recognized,  and tilted his chin up in resolve.. “It’s this way, guys. Follow me.” Dipper gestured out of the woodland clearing. Stanford couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride. Dipper was holding it together much better than he was, if he was being perfectly honest with himself.  
  
The broken huddled family slowly began to move back towards the Shack. Once or twice Stanley stumbled, and Stanford and Soos were quick steady him, afraid he would trip and fall on Mabel. She didn’t seem to mind however, and she steadily tugged Stanley forward, not letting go of him for a second. Stanford realized that he was still clutching the suit to his chest.

“Here, Stanley, you need the suit to complete the look,” Stanford told him, trying to keep his tone light. “Looks nice,” Stanley nodded  at it in appreciation. Stanford silently helped his brother shrug into the suit, a small part of him feeling better that Stanley at least was wearing the clothes he would have preferred. The family rounded the corner and the grim despondency in the air was almost palpable. The Shack was in complete ruins before them. Stanford wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it honestly wasn’t this. Numbness began to settle heavy in his chest, and he couldn’t even bring himself to feel much of anything at the sight of the ruined house.

They entered the remains of the Shack, and Mabel and Dipper both took Stanley’s hands as he gazed around, taking in the wreckage of his home of thirty years for the first time. There was no registration on his face, even as Dipper and Mabel continued to ask him questions, still resolute to somehow reach their great uncle..

The numbness spread throughout Ford’s entire body, as tried to explain _again_ to Mabel, that there was nothing they could do. It was better they realize it _now_ , they shouldn’t have to go through this again…

Mabel still believed, still trusted that everything would be okay, she flipped through a bright sticker-filled scrapbook, and Stanford didn’t try to stop her. A deep aching in his heart wished that he too could trust like her again, even if this was all his fault, even if _he_ was the one who-

And then, Stanley uttered that beautiful pig’s name, and color flooded back into Stanford’s world. A glowing warmth spread from his chest, melting away the numbness and pricking his eyes with tears of sheer joy. Just like that, he was pulled from the brink of despair. Stanley was found by stickers and photographs that were placed in a scrapbook with love, and Stanford felt himself breathe again, hardly daring to believe it. There was a hope of a second chance. There was _hope_.

The family laughed as Mabel flipped through the scrapbook, describing to Stanley the time he was very brave and fought off a hoard of zombies with a baseball bat. Stanford looked up and saw Dipper smiling shyly at him.

“How did you know not to give up?” Stanford asked him softly.

Dipper gave a small shrug. “I didn’t. But someone once told me that… you don’t give up. You fight back even when it seems impossible.”

Stanford’s eyes fell back to his brother’s grinning face as he listened to Mabel explain how they defeated the zombies by singing karaoke together. Stanley laughed and hugged Mabel to himself. His eyes were shining and wet with happiness from the small handful of memories about his family he got back. Dipper and Mabel held onto hope, something that Stanford couldn’t bring himself to do. Because if he was wrong… then it would be like destroying his brother all over again. Yet, Stanley had risked himself for Stanford before. And now Stanford could do the same for Stanley, he had the hope of a second chance with his brother. Stanford vowed right there, in the remains of the Shack, and amongst his newly regained family, that he would never lose hope again. He wouldn’t give up on himself or his family. Or Stanley.

After all, some things were worth fighting for, even when it seemed impossible.


End file.
